


I Died

by IsabellTrevelyan



Series: In The Shadows [3]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 15:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsabellTrevelyan/pseuds/IsabellTrevelyan
Summary: Ryder can't forget the events of the archon-ship, she can't tell Reyes what happened to her.





	I Died

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a native english-speaker. I am sorry for every misspelling or grammatical mistake.

Ryder sits on one of the sofas in the meeting room of the Tempest. She stares at the blinking blue light. He tries to call her. For days now.

“Ryder. Do you wish for the light to go off by your heated gaze?” SAM learns her sarcasm, she hates it. That's how the others probably feel about her sarcastic comments, too. 

Ryder is tired, the ship of the archon was a nightmare, she can't forget the images, the screams, the pain, the weight of her choice. She didn't sleep since then. Full three days by now. Her eyes are dry, looking hurts but she can't sleep.

“Ryder, please answer Mr. Vidals calls. He won't stop trying to contact you.” Ryder closes her eyes and signs. “SAM, please. I need to be alone.” her voice is a whisper, a pleading whisper. 

She stands up and starts pacing. No one but her is on board, they landed on the Nexus four hours ago. Everyone was forced to get off the ship either by their duty or her demand. Ryder wants silence, she wants to be alone. 

She turns her head back to the little blue light on the table. Her eyes are filling with tears. She types on her omnitool and suddenly stops. She sits back on the sofa and rests her head in her hands. She is afraid. Ryder tries to calm herself down by slow and deep breaths. She sighs and looks up. She needs to talk to him. He deserves to know.

She opens her omnitool again. Her mind is spinning, how can she tell him, that she... She calls Reyes, only audio, no video. Ivy doesn't want him to see her right now, with eye bags, gray skin and tears in her eyes. She wants him to see her strong, witty and shining and not… broken. 

“Hey, mi reina. I try to call you for like three days straight. We have to celebrate your victory with the salarian ark, don't we?” Ryder hears his smile, he really is in a good mood. Looking up from her omnitool to the ceiling she stays silent. “I have some surprises for you, a gift actually. When will you came back to the kingdom? I would like to give it to you in person.” 

Ivy doesn't know what to say, so she stays silent. “Alright I can literally hear the tension. Do you want to talk about it or will this here remain a monolog?” Ryders throat goes dry, she can’t.

“Reyes…” is everything she can manage before her voice fails. Tears are running down her cheeks. But his name was more than enough. He hers her trying to regain control of her emotions. Why is that so hard, why can’t she just tell him?

Silence. Again. Reyes searches for the right words, even though he doesn't know what's going on. “Ivy, I can hear you cry. Talk to me.” Ryder wipes her tears away with the sleeves of her oversize pullover. “I am not crying, you are crying.” He signs. 

She takes a deep breath. “We promised to tell us everything, right? Only secrets about work, as long as they are not big, right?” She hears Reyes shift. “Mi reina, please don't make this sound even more suspicious. What's wrong, what happened?” 

Ryder stands up and starts pacing again, her fingers fumbling with her hair. “I… I.” she looks up to the ceiling again. “That's something I have to tell you in person.”  
Silence for a moment, she tries to breath slow and deep. 

“You are still on the Nexus, yes?” she can hear him walking, he sounds worried. “I am, we leave in two days for Harval.” She hears the music of the Tatarus, Reyes must be leaving. “Good, I'll only take some hours.”

Ryder slowly stops pacing and frowns, understanding what he is up to. “Wait, Reyes. Stop. You can't come here, you can't leave Kadara.” The sounds of the elevator of the slums cames through the omnitool. “Why not? What ever happened, it got you hard and obviously can't wait. I won't sit here and wait for you to come by.”

“You want to share the information in person, so my person you shall have.” Ryder is stunned. He would leave everything aside for her. It happens so fast, she doesn't know how to reply. She just stares at her omnitool. Her stomach turns at the thought. 

Suddenly SAMs voice is ringing from her omnitool. “Mr. Vidal, from Kadara Port to our location on the Nexus would take you four hours and twenty one minutes. I recommend to land your shuttle as far away as possible, the guards on the Nexus would get suspicious otherwise.”

“Thanks, SAM. But first I won't take that long and second I still have connections on the Nexus beside our pathfinder. The guards won't be a problem.” Ryder frowns, turning her attention to SAM. “Are you helping a criminal and exile to get on the nexus unnoticed?” Reyes chuckles. “You flatter me.” 

She leaves the meeting room and goes to her quarters. They can’t be serious.“Guess there is no chance of talking you out of that?” Reyes signs, he knows she doesn't want him to provoke the Nexus more than necessary. “Ivy, what ever happened to you must be bad. I want to see you as soon as possible and I don't give two shits about the consequences of landing on the Nexus unauthorized. Keema can deal with Kadara for me for a few hours.”

Ryder sits down on her bed and rests her head again in her hands. It is too much. He really leaves Kadara for her, because she cried. Because she is weak. Now she feels even worse. And SAM is helping him, what if he gets caught? “Ivy, I'll hurry. I'll be there in three hours.” Ivy sighs. There is no point in arguing, she is too tired to fight.

“Mr. Vidal, I’ll send you the location of the Tempest.”

\--

“Pathfinder, Mr. Vidals shuttle landed two minutes ago, he is on his way to the Tempest. Do you allow him entry?” Ivy stares at SAM on her desk and growls “Do you care? I bet you would let him in no matter what I say.” 

SAM replies pertly. “Ryder, I don't see why I deserve your anger. You want him here and I was willing to help.” Ivy frowns, gritting her teeth. “I told him to stay away! I don't want company, I want to be alone!”

The blue light of SAM fills the room “Your heart rate disagrees.” Ryder looks away from SAM. Her voice is a whisper “how about stopping the rate again…” 

SAM stays silent. He recognize that there is no need for a reply, he sends Reyes the authorisation-codes for the Tempest. Ryder is right, he would let him in, no matter what she says.

Ivy stands up and looks out of her huge window, she can see the salarian ark. She can hear her own heart loud and clear, it's hammering so strong, it feels like it would break out of her ribcage at any moment. She is nervous.

She hears footsteps above her, Reyes arrived. Suddenly her throat feels dry, she'll have to talk to him now, about what happened, about her death. Her eyes are filling with tears again. She was dead. She died because she got trapped, because she failed.

She hears her door open but can't bring herself to turn around. Her stomach drops, she is so nervous. How can she tell him that she died? That her A.I killed her, that she failed? Her mind is spinning. What can she say?

Silence, it is so silent, it hurts her. She turns around and loses it. Even before she could see Reyes she breaks out in sobs, unable to control the tears and her breathing. She covers her eyes with her hands. 

She can feel his arms around her, pressing her body to his. He doesn't say anything, he just holds her close, makes sure she knows he is there. She leans into him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

They remain that way for a few moments but it feels like forever. Finally her breathing gets better. He still doesn't let her go and neither does she. Ryder nestles her face in the crock of his neck. He hugs her even thigher. “I've missed you, too, mi reina.” 

Ryder breaths deep and slowly in attempt to calm herself down. Her eyes are burning from the crying and the lack of sleep. She finally lets him go a bit but she still can't meet his eyes. 

He watches her carefully, scans her face and body for injuries while she still doesn't meet his gaze. He slowly raises his hand to place it on her left cheek. Carefully he wipes her tears away and caresses her cheekbone. 

He places his other hand under her chin and turns her head. Reyes forces her to look at him. She finally meets his gaze and he freezes. Her eyes are blood red and distant, there is no warmth, no shine. Only pain.

She feels his shock and turns her face away in embarrassment, she lets go of him completely. Reyes is lost for words and is still unable to move. He whispers “Ivy, what happened?” 

She turns her back to him, she feels sick. Reyes takes a step to her and reaches for her hand. She turns her head around and looks over her shoulder at him. He looks so worried and hurt, her stomach turns at that sight. 

She turns her head around again and and looks at the ground. “The archon… the ark.” her voice starts to crack again. “Everything went to hell.” Reyes squeezes her hand, trying to encourage her. He comes closer and stands by her site. 

Ivy turns to him. Now or never. She looks him in his eyes as she speaks. “We got trapped in some field, with no chance of getting out. The field only trapped living creatures.” She takes a deep breath, feeling the tears coming back. “Reyes, I died in that field.” 

Reyes eyes widen as he takes the information in. She died, he lost her to the kett and had no information about it. He stares at her. 

Ryder shifts her feet uncomfortable. “When I got out of the field I-” she stops, unable to continue the sentence because Reyes crushes her to his body. He lost her. His mind is spinning. “You were dead and I didn't even know.”

His voice is so low, she nearly misses his words. His pained voice breaks her tears lose. She is crying as she leans into him again. “I am so sorry, Reyes.” 

Reyes lets her go and sits down on her bed with her on his side. He still can't believe what he just heard. He hugs her to him again, resting his head on hers. When her sobbing stops, he looks down at her. 

She looks so small and vulnerable. “But how?” He actually doesn't really want to now but he needs to. She looks up at him and bites her lips “SAM stopped my heart and after the field released my body he brought me back.” 

His throat goes dry. The A.I in her head killed her. Unable to comprehend this information Reyes kisses her forehead. “I love you.” The time freezes. Ivy stares at him, he didn't just say that, did he. 

She hears her heart in her ears and her hands start to sweat. He loves her. Ryder doesn't know how to respond, they did admit their feeling for each other but never used the L-word. Feelings, yes, but love? 

She throws herself into him and locks her arms behind his head. “Ich liebe dich auch.”  
He chuckles lowly “You're going german on my again.” she lets go of him so she can see into his eyes. How he manages to make her smile no matter what happened is beyond her. 

“I said ‘yo también te amo’”. He smiles widely at her. She mirrors his smile and kisses him. “My multilingual queen.” She laughs at that. “Maybe I learned some sentences of that sort, just in case I'll need them same day.” Reyes looks into her eyes and caresses her cheek. 

Ryder hugs him tighter. “How long will you stay?” Reyes chuckles at her voice. She sounds happier again. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.” Ivy kisses him slowly. She feels him smiling against her lips. “Forever is a long time, you know?” Reyes laughs. “Since when are you so cheesy?” Ivy laughs, too. All her tears forgotten.

He tugs a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Mi reina.” She leans her forehead against his. “Mein Schatz.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. <3
> 
> Mi reina - spanish - my queen  
> Mein Schatz - german - my treasure (common german pet name)


End file.
